Currently Reading Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot (Lives of Faith) By Elisabeth Elliot see related

so much that's run through my head lately. there's so much i have that i don't necessarily deserve, and yet i expect. a roof over my head, a paycheck on a regular basis, family, friends. i am blessed. i can take in the smell of rain as it comes, feel the wind when it blows, hear the thunder as it rumbles in the distance, and watch the clouds as they roll in. so many little ways that my Father lavishes His love on me through my senses. How is it fair? that's probably the wrong question, but i have thought it, knowing that there are millions of people who have lost so much, who need so much. i have questions, but He doesn't need me to understand all of this. all He wants is my trust, and my devotion, and my life.

Spring is almost here! Wildflowers give one last mighty heave and burst right through all the brown stuff in the woods around here. Good stuff! I love this time of year! Top it off with celebrating Easter over the weekend and life in and through the Son of God and I know that I have to the most blessed person in the world! This last week it really struck me again that the only reason I can hope and have life is the fact that my Jesus came down from Heaven to do His Father's will, lived the perfect life here on Earth--drawing people to Himself and giving us an amazing gift of God in human flesh--and then died a horrible death to make it possible for me to be redeemed and to have a relationship with the Him. But don't stop there, He rose again! Defeating Death and Hell, giving me the promise that I can live with Him forever and ever in Heaven!  It was a really good weekend and was special too, because I got to spend most of Easter with Elvin and Gin, some dear friends from a whole other era at Camp!

Next up, FLORIDA! I'm thrilled to think about taking a few days and spending time with my sis and her family! Gotta go make sure that little Lela knows she has an aunt and spoil her and the rest of the kidders for a few days! Mel, I only wish you'd be there too. I have a confession though. I'm realizing in getting ready for this trip, I'm experiencing a feeling similar to what a mother may feel when leaving a child in someone else's care; the sad part is that I'm feeling this way about my phone and my schedule book here at my desk. It is time to get away and let go of a few things!

Funny how something as random as the weather back home can make you sorta homesick. I've just been hearin' about all the snow up north and thinking it would have been so much fun to be there and do all kinds of fun snowed-in kind of things! But, I can't complain, today I had the privilege of settin' up shop on the back porch of the office, since it was absolutely gorgeous and I was looking for a diversion. Let's just say the laptop came in handy and the long cord on the phone worked out great while I chipped away at the mountain of articles!  Not sure what the moral of this post is, I just felt like posting

Hello World!

As I sit here attempting to post for the first time in many moons, I have this mental image of a caveman stepping onto the streets of say, New York City, for the first time, and though this may be a stretch, I have a bit of the same trepidation that I imagine he would feel. I'm basically out of my comfort zone right now and maybe I should be writing in the Budget instead? Yesterday was church and Check, Choe's, Chon's, Chunior was there. Oh, and the neighbors all moved; not quite, but sort of. :)

CHRISTMAS! boys baking cookies, singing carols, reading the Christmas story, unwrapping gifts, dressing up in their best for banquet; it was all pretty special! And then I got to spend an absolutely wonderfully Christmas day here plus spend a good weekend with my fam at home in OH. Side note: I also experienced a major crisis that involved a sewing machine. Let's just say that I was pretty sure that there actually was a SMAM (Sewing Machines Against Marj) conspiracy happening while I was trying to finish my Christmas craft for staff gift exchange. It'll take a lot of therapy for me to try sewing again, but I do have hope, because since then I've actually taken up something that involves a needle and a thread. Wait, you'll never guess....crocheting! I confess that I find it enjoyable and a good thing to do with my hands, though I could be a bit obsessive compulsive about it, just one more stitch.

SNOW! I had the chance to walk through a winter wonderland right here at Camp. One evening we had probably 4 inches of the white stuff. It was awesome! I got to help make a snow man for the first time in years! and yeah, I felt like a kid again!

SPRING! Winter has felt long at times, both literally and figuratively. There've been a few times that I didn't have much hope that it would end, but I have hope! It's coming!  The daffodils are blooming and there's so much evidence of new life just waiting to happen! There's days when the sky is so blue and the sunshine so warm that I have the let the outside into my office and I can have the door open and the windows too! It's a wonderful thing, this thing called spring!

Oh yeah, you can call me chore girl too. I have had the privilege at various times over the past months to care for 9 goats, 3 cats, 1 quail, 2 dogs, and a hamster. Goats really aren't too bad, as long as you can grab 'em by the horns and move them where you want them to go!

That's all for now!

Conversations

I’ve just finished a conversation with “Sherilynn” who dearly loves her little precious “B”. She misses him intensely and often calls me and asks me to tell him that she called and that “Momma loves him.” This happens to be my second conversation with her today. She just wants to know how “B’s” doing. I tell her that I saw him at Chuckwagon at lunchtime and that he told me about the book he’s been writing. Is he having’ any problems or getting in any fights? She misses him, and it’s hard. She worries about him. And it’s hard when “B” has to come back to Camp after a visit home and has to deal with all the hard things, away from his family. Do I have children? I’d know what it’s like if I had my own. She’s got a few at home that just have a hard time with B being gone. She has fears about the things kids do to kids these days. She prays. Every morning, for “B”, and the chiefs and his group and everybody up there, that God would help them. Everybody needs God’s help and she prays for everybody so that she doesn’t miss anybody. And if something would happen to “B” she’d go crazy. And I hear it in her voice, just how much she loves her boy, how much it tears at her heart for him to be here and not there. But she’s holding on. And I do my best to let her know how much I care and that I really don’t mind when she calls in.

Earlier I talked to “Paula” who calls me every day, sometimes two and three times a day. Her son is a bundle of energy whose enthusiasm for life makes everyone around him want to live more—most of the time. Paula’s worried about making sure her son’s footlocker is stocked with all the necessary things to stay warm this winter, and is a little concerned about how the boys dress for the days that we’re coming into, where it’s forty degrees in the morning and hits eighty or ninety in the afternoon. Our conversation goes from talking about long sleeved shirts and thermal underwear, to the bargains that can be found at consignment stores, to the traditional parent group meeting picnic, and the logic behind my attendance; even though i've never attended, it just seems reasonable to her. Somehow, we end up talking about the long sleeved shirts again, and the thermals are mentioned in passing as well. a little later, long-sleeved shirts are in again. Eventually, I remind her that I’ll pass on her message to Chief “so and so.” She misses her son and often just needs someone to listen.

It’s things like this in a day’s time that remind me why I’m here, doing what I do. Many times I feel pretty inadequate, but somehow I hope and pray that I can be a vessel that shines the Light and love of Jesus to the families across this state.